High Fructose Corn Syrup

Jan 07, 2016 Comment(s) Tags: , ,


So, I’m yelling at my son, “Don’t drink that root beer kid, it’s just a cold

glass of high fructose corn syrup.”  Without missing a beat, he says,

“Dad, look at the labels of the ketchup and pickles you just smoothed

all over your burger.”  My smart kids grate at me sometimes.

So I read, and high fructose corn syrup is in both.  “Na-uh,” I say.

“Uh-huh,” he says, and he goes back to gulping his fructose pop, and

that really sets my teeth on edge.


Seeing this, my wife, who is always ready for a good fight, piles on.

While nibbling on her organic yogurt and fruit, she calmly says,

“What’s in your glass, honey?”  And I’m frantically looking for a yellow

flag from the ref and 15 yards for an unnecessary roughness hit that

I’m about to take.  “Water, sweetie.”


Hitting someone in football is all about the angles, and she just

positioned herself to slam my butt outta’ bounds.  Then she calmly

pulled up on her cell phone a partial list of chemicals and unregulated

contaminants in our community drinking water.  And she starts

reading, “chromium and vanadium from steel mills and fuel disposal

sites, leakage from septic tanks, arsenic, and hormones.”  That was a

cruel hit.  I should send this spousal abuse footage to the NFL.



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written by
Tom Mitrakos is a graduate of the University of Pittsburgh…
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