Slipping

Slipping

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One psalm tells me, “He will not allow your foot to slip; He who keeps you will not slumber” (Psalm 121:3). That’s good news. Why do I feel like I’m slipping anyway?

I write this post at 2:00 am, knowing that I need to get up for liturgy in 4 or 5 hours or so.

I write at a point in my life when challenges and blessings are both being presented to me, if not in abundance, at least in magnitude.

I give thanks and make my petitions known to God.

In my early 40s, I am full of fears I should not have and joys I had no idea I would ever know.

I’m full of hope, but my hope is tested by the unexpected. I believe, and I pray that God would help my unbelief.

“He grants sleep to those he loves,” says the psalmist in Psalm 127:2.

So I will sleep (though I do not want to) grateful for the gift.

I am loved. And unloved. Wanted and rejected. May God forgive and bless us all who are so similarly placed in tension.

It is time to rest. Tomorrow will have new challenges in addition to the ones left unfinished from today.

I fall asleep, grateful. Life is hard, but God is good. God’s goodness is greater than life’s hardness.

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Jeff Holton

Jeff Holton likes to write (and read) about pretty much anything that piques his interest. These days, that especially includes Christianity, American history, social media, and space exploration.

He currently serves on Parish Council and teaches the high school class for his local parish, and he especially enjoys presenting the relevance of the faith and the astounding depth of the mysteries to his agape [pun intended] students.

He received a Master of Arts in Theology from Fuller Theological Seminary in 2004, presenting a thesis entitled Orthodox-Protestant Dialogue: An Analysis of a Subset of East-West Historical and Contemporary Interactions and a Justification for Orthodox Participation Therein. He continues to be driven by a strong, deep desire to see Christians of various identifications maintain positive dialogue with one another towards the eventual inclusion of all into the One, Holy, Catholic, Apostolic Church.

Holton is a Business Analyst for Cisco in San Jose, where he focuses on communications and training development for their third-party sales partners. He lives in Livermore, CA, and enjoys playing with his guitar and with his children, but not necessarily in that order. "Children are harder to tune," he says, "but the melodies are a little more interesting, unpredictable, and jazzy." Jeff has additional writings, photos, and info accessible from his website.