High Fructose Corn Syrup


So, I’m yelling at my son, “Don’t drink that root beer kid, it’s just a cold

glass of high fructose corn syrup.”  Without missing a beat, he says,

“Dad, look at the labels of the ketchup and pickles you just smoothed

all over your burger.”  My smart kids grate at me sometimes.

So I read, and high fructose corn syrup is in both.  “Na-uh,” I say.

“Uh-huh,” he says, and he goes back to gulping his fructose pop, and

that really sets my teeth on edge.


Seeing this, my wife, who is always ready for a good fight, piles on.

While nibbling on her organic yogurt and fruit, she calmly says,

“What’s in your glass, honey?”  And I’m frantically looking for a yellow

flag from the ref and 15 yards for an unnecessary roughness hit that

I’m about to take.  “Water, sweetie.”


Hitting someone in football is all about the angles, and she just

positioned herself to slam my butt outta’ bounds.  Then she calmly

pulled up on her cell phone a partial list of chemicals and unregulated

contaminants in our community drinking water.  And she starts

reading, “chromium and vanadium from steel mills and fuel disposal

sites, leakage from septic tanks, arsenic, and hormones.”  That was a

cruel hit.  I should send this spousal abuse footage to the NFL.



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Tom Mitrakos

Tom Mitrakos is a graduate of the University of Pittsburgh with a degree in Political Science and Economics, was co-captain of the football team, and was drafted by the San Francisco 49ers. He also has a teaching degree in secondary education, and taught Sunday school for 15 years at Holy Cross Greek Orthodox Church in Pittsburgh. For the past 35 years he has been a homebuilder. He has made many pilgrimages to Mt. Athos and to the U.S. monasteries of St. Anthony’s in Arizona, Holy Archangels in Texas, and St. Nectarios in New York. He was instrumental in establishing the first Greek Orthodox monastery in America for Elder Ephraim, in an effort to help monasticism gain a foothold in America. Tom created and has been writing the Daily Lives, Miracles, and Wisdom of the Saints & Fasting Calendar for the last 20 years. It is sold in the United States, Canada, and around the world, and can be purchased online at www.LivesoftheSaintsCalendar.com. His other book, Wisdom of the Divine Philosophers, is a compilation of wisdom and writings of the saints, which are categorized by subject, such as humility, sin, love, faith, etc. He also writes a satire column for local newspapers about things that set his teeth on edge, and will soon be writing a blog for the Huffington Post. Tom is married to Georgia, and they have three talented sons – Nicholas, Michael, and Gabriel.


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