Anna K is the happily-married mother of three children and one terrier. She entered the Orthodox church in 2005 shortly before completing her Master's Degree in Eastern European History. Her writing discusses the spiritual lessons she learns in her everyday life as a wife and mama.
It’s hard to ask for help. It gets harder the more you need it.
Recently, I really needed some help and – with the prodding from others – decided to ask for specific help with specific tasks.
I asked a lot of people. Nine promised they would help. Two showed up.
Here’s what I learned:
1. When you ask people for help, ask those who already have full plates. You know why their plates are full? Because they show up! Over my years of asking for help, I’ve had countless women bail on me. You know who always, ALWAYS shows up? The woman who has young children of her own. She comes through the door 10 minutes early with kids in tow, a casserole dish for me to heat up for dinner, and a smile on her face as she grabs my youngest to say, “Go! Get out of here! See you in 2 hours!”
2. When I ask people for help, I have to ask, then let it go. The only thing I’m responsible for is admitting that I need some help. When those 7 out of 9 people didn’t show up for me, I could have gotten really mad! Instead, I was able to just accept that they had other demands on their time and minds. Would it have been nice to have that help? Yes! But I already had the spiritual benefit of admitting I needed help.
So, to other women out there – let’s support each other. Let’s be the one who shows up when no one else does, even if it’s just for an hour with a pizza box under our arm. And let’s also be the ones who ask for help, even when no one shows up, because vocalizing a need for help helps us, even when no one shows up but God.
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