On the evening of that day, the first day of the week, the doors being shut where the Disciples were, for fear of the Jews, Jesus came and stood among them and said to them “Peace be with you.” When He had said this, He showed them His hands and His side. Then the Disciples were glad when they saw the Lord.
John 20: 19-20
In a previous reflection, I mentioned that in the Divine Liturgy (and in many other services in the Orthodox Church), the priest will bless the congregation with the words “Peace be with you all.” In doing this, he is offering both a blessing and a prayer for the people in attendance that they will have the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, (Philippians 4:7) and that they will be freed of stress. The people are supposed to offer a response to the priest, which is “And with your spirit.” This means that the people are wishing the same peace the priest is blessing them with, they wish for the priest to have that same peace. (As an aside, it always confounds me as a priest, how many people do not respond to this blessing. Instead of wishing the priest to have peace, their non-response is saying essentially, “we’ll take your gift of peace but don’t wish for you to have the same gift.)
Now not every person is a priest, and not every action is liturgical in nature. But this exchange of “peace be with you all” and “and with your spirit,” is an exchange we should offer ideally with every person we come in contact with. No, we don’t have to say the words, but we should imply them in our actions. I should want to have a peaceful contact with everyone I meet. They should want a peaceful contact with me. I should hope for them to have peace and they should hope for me to have peace. Most importantly, I should go out of my way to create a peaceful environment around me to put others at ease around me. And others should afford me the same courtesy.
“Honesty” and “safety” are not listed as fruit of the Spirit. However, honesty is a precursor to trust and trust is a precursor to love. And safety is the by-product of peace. In our relationships with one another, we should strive to create environments where it is safe to be honest, and where the safety of the other person is a primarily goal. In relationships where there is an honest and safe exchange of ideas, even of disagreements, then there can be peace. There can even be peace in times of disagreement, because all parties are concerned with honesty and safety, and these will aid in resolving conflict which then leads back again to peace.
Hebrews 12:14 tells us to “strive for peace with all men, and for the holiness without which no one will see the Lord.” So, not only is peace with one another something we should strive for, but the holiness which is required if one wants to see the Lord, cannot come to the person who has no peace.
In John 14: 27, Jesus tells His Disciples, “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you.” The ideal is to have peace with everyone we encounter. Jesus tells us that this is the ideal. But He also warns them that His peace is not the kind of peace that the world gives. The world doesn’t give complete peace, and certainly not all the time. Rather as we read in Hebrews above, it is a fruit for which we are to continually strive. Again, peace promotes safety and honest. And safety and honesty foster peace. This is the ideal we are supposed to work for in every relationship, including our relationship with the Lord. But peace doesn’t just happen. As with the other Fruit, peace is a choice, and it is a challenge. It is a choice we have to make daily and a challenge to remain peaceful and promote peace in a world that seems to very much work against peace.
Lord, thank You for the gift of peace, the possibility of being at ease and not experiencing constant strife and conflict. Help me to be a person who promotes peace. Surround me with people who want the same kind of peace that I do. Help me, and them, to foster relationships that are honest, where it is okay to be vulnerable. Help all of my relationships to be anchored not only in love, but in peace as well. Amen.
Work on building safe environments in your relationships, where it is okay to be honest and vulnerable and you will see not only will love deepen, but a lasting peace will come over the relationship as well.
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