It does not rejoice at wrong, but rejoices in the right.
I Corinthians 13:6
When our son was growing up, he used to watch a cartoon called “Caillou.” It was about an awkward-looking boy without any hair (think knock-off of Charlie Brown) who didn’t have many friends. Every time Caillou would go to do something, his mother would say something discouraging. Caillou would say “I’m going to play with my friends.” And instead of joy that her son is being included, or happiness that he has something fun to do, she would say something like “I hope you don’t get hit by a bus!” I would watch this show with Nicholas and think “this is the consummate pessimist! She never has anything good to say.”
We all know that analogy of the glass that is filled 50 percent with water. Someone will look at the glass as “half-full” (optimist) and someone else will look at the glass as “half-empty” (pessimist). Two people will look at the same thing and one will choose a positive perspective and the other will choose a negative. When looking at the glass, what we see is a choice. It is our choice to see the glass half full or see it half empty. And sometimes the choice of how we see things is tempered by circumstance. For instance, for the person is so thirsty, seeing a glass filled halfway with water might cause disappointment—“I’m so parched and only half a glass of water?!” But for someone else, they might say “I’m so parched and thankfully, there is some water to drink.”
There will be times when everyone will be disappointed. For instance, you go to a restaurant looking forward to eating a particular item and they don’t have it that day. And you have a hard time consoling yourself with “well, at least I have food to eat.” Which is really what we should do, as there are many people in the world who have no food. Disappointment is allowed, I’m not sure how we could get through life without being disappointed or sad at some point. It’s perfectly fine to be disappointed, and sad, when someone passes away, especially when they are really young, or when you get really sick. However, what is your trend? Do you tend to be more disappointed or more content? Do you look for the good in something or someone, or do you look for what is negative?
Sometimes this choice is affected by those around you, if they are consistently negative, it might cause you to be negative as well. If a person was raised in a home where parents were pessimistic, they might grow up pessimistic as well. If a person had a “Caillou-type” parent, that will definitely affect them as an adult. If a person is raised by a parent who consistently says “I don’t know if you are going to do well,” that will zap a young person’s self-confidence. This is yet another reason to be encouraging in our interactions. Because the voice we use around other people can actually help tip their scales to being more positive or being more negative.
I am blessed to have a few people around me who are optimists. Unfortunately, there are many more who are pessimists. When I get in a negative mood, which sadly I must admit is often, the positive messages I receive are helpful. And the positive people are comfortable enough calling out my negative mood, that it causes me to reassess how I am looking at something (and also sometimes causes me to be annoyed, i.e. let me wallow in my negative thought, it is deserved). But overall, I appreciate them. I try to offer encouragement to others, even when I’m not feeling encouraged, because people need to hear words of encouragement. Especially because so much of the rhetoric in the world is negative and discouraging.
How we see things is our choice. I remember seeing a sketch of several people in various modes of travel—a helicopter, a fancy car, an old car, a bicycle, and a wheelchair. The guy in the fancy car looks up at the helicopter and says to himself “I wish I had one of those.” The guy in the old car looks at the guy in the fancy car and says to himself, “I wish I could afford one of those.” The guy on the bicycle looks at the old beat-up car and says “I wish I had any car.” Another guy is walking and looks at the bicycle and says “I wish I had a bike.” The guy in the wheelchair looks at the guy walking and says “I wish I could walk.” And finally, there is a guy looking out the window of a hospital room, who sees the guy in the wheelchair and says “I wish I could just go outside.” Some perspective there, for sure.
There is always a choice to view a situation in a positive or a negative light. And while pessimism is probably learned behavior, there is nothing that says pessimists cannot become more optimistic. There is also a choice to contribute positively or negatively to the world, and we have to know that how we act affects the optimism and pessimism of others. For those who are consistently negative in their interactions, they breed pessimism. Many of us have had the experience of seeing our phone light up with someone who is pessimistic, for instance, a boss figure. And as we see the name come up on the phone, our blood pressure goes up, because we know whatever is coming is not going to be positive. Here is a critical point for self-reflection: Ask yourself critically, am I someone who, when I call someone, is going to think it is going to be a good phone call, an optimistic phone call, or a bad and pessimistic phone call? I would be absolutely mortified if I thought someone saw my name on their phone and were anxious about taking my call.
As Christians, we are called to love. St. Paul writes that love does not rejoice at wrong, but rejoices in the right. We may not think about a Christian call to be optimistic, or glass half-full people, but this is really part of our call as Christians, to be optimistic, to see the best in people and in circumstances. Our sense of optimism affects our sense of gratitude and our sense of contentment. They all work together. One who is pessimistic is less grateful and less content. These all work together. This does not mean that we are not allowed to be disappointed or sad. No matter how optimistic we are, we are not immune to some defeats in life. But where does our life trend in totality, not on a given day or in a given circumstance. It is perfect natural to look out at a stormy sky and say “I’m not feeling too positive today is going to be a beach day.” However, we cannot be like the “Caillou-mom,” finding something wrong in everything. There is no love there.
If you want to see the worst in me, you will certainly find something bad to look at. I’m not perfect. No one is. This is why consistently looking for negativity inhibits love and the only way love can exist between people is when we make a choice to see the good in them.
Lord, help me to be a positive voice in the world today. Help me to see the good in people. In moments when I feel discouraged, help me to find something positive to focus on. When life seems dark and cloudy, help me to find the ray of sunshine. And when I can’t seem to find it, please come and shine it on me. Amen.
Choose to see the good in people. And if you are a glass half-empty person, you need to work on that! Also, thank you to the friends I have who are optimists. Your influence definitely helps on the days I feel pessimistic. Thank you for the consistent encouragement, even when I don’t feel encouraged.
