Humility, not ego or pride, is key to everything in life. Prioritizing the attainment of humility as the primary goal is a tough sell in today’s culture. I was speaking to someone recently who kept saying that you have to have at least a little ego to be successful. I know that he, and others, believe this is true. But it’s not the case. Yet this is how our culture justifies our misguided self-love. It makes me sad to see someone in the grips of this delusion where they forget the humility they once had and the true of their abilities.
Resisting being seduced by our ego is a worthwhile fight. Perhaps this illustration will be useful in waging this battle. Think about when you say, or maybe hear someone say, in admiration of a person’s abilities and or their accomplishments, “wow that person is really gifted.” Have you ever thought about what that really means? A gift is something you are given, not something that you created. If a person is really gifted, that means, in this context, that he or she is using well what he or she has been given. If we are being honest with ourselves we must admit most of us use that phrase contextually as if the person’s abilities are completely of their own making. It’s why we may strive to be other than what we are, not thinking about or appreciating our own gifts, but envying those of other people especially when they have led to worldly success. However, if we can keep the truth of this awareness in the forefront of our thought, it does help us to keep our egos at bay and give us some measure of humility that allows us to receive and cooperate with God’s grace.
Here is something else that perhaps can help us maintain this understanding. I was recently having a conversation with someone who was being very gracious in their praise of some of the ministry-related work I do. I gently steered the conversation into more about how God operates, and this is why. Consider the Eucharist, our central act of worship. As Fr. Alexander Schmemann (and others) have pointed out, God provides wheat and grapes. We cannot create them. We do not have the ability to create something out of nothing. They are given or gifted to us by God. But we then take what He provides, take what is freely offered and given in love, and do something with it. We refashion it into bread and wine, and then offer it back to Him in which case He then imbues it literally with Himself and offers Himself back to us in this manner.
This is how our own gifts and abilities work. We are literally gifted with a God-given a set of abilities and aptitudes that are innate. God is perfect love, therefore He grants us perfect freedom of choice (not freedom from choice). We can choose to use our gifts as we wish. If we love God and are wise, we will offer them back to Him and do things with them in our lives as best we can that are an expression of loving, which means humbly serving others. Whatever gifts we have are ultimately from Him and how we choose to use them works best when we do them in cooperation with Him and His purposes.
Our ego serves the enemy when we forget that this is the relationship of our abilities to reality. They come from God. I am never impressed by someone’s raw abilities but rather how they use them in service to God.
For example, it’s impressive to me if they have artistic gifts and create beauty in their chosen art form that uplifts people and consciously or unconsciously draws them to God. Or perhaps they are using their gifts in direct service to people who have less; or if they are gifted in business and create honest and ethical companies that employ many, provide good products and services, and operate with integrity; God is the source and they are doing His work. When they view their talents as such, they truly are blessed.
Most importantly, it is the path to salvation which begins and ends with the living cooperation between our free will and God’s grace.
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