How we should deal with difficult children

How we should deal with difficult children

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Saint Paisios the Athonite

 

(A letter written by Elder Païsios to a family of firm believers who were socially and spiritually aware and in despair over the behaviour of their daughter)

My dear brother, ‘Rejoice in the Lord’.
With regard to the child you wrote to me about, I’m of the opinion that a strict attitude will make things worse for her. Tell her what’s right in a kind manner and then don’t pressurize her, but show that you’re worried about the way she’s going (which will be apparent anyway, because neither joy nor anxiety can be concealed). Do your duty by giving her advice and then trust in God. I think you’ll get better results if you use your pain in prayer, instead of being hurt by the misbehaviour of the child and going on about it, because at the moment she’s in turmoil because of the flesh and she’s under the influence of the evil one, since she’s opened the door to him.

It’s a storm and will pass. Don’t worry, she’ll soon come to her senses. Don’t take it to heart that she’ll lose her purity and what will happen then, because people today have a different ‘rule’, and sin is now the fashion. God have mercy on us. Insofar as you can, don’t browbeat her, as I said, so that she doesn’t cut the cord and leave the family, because when she comes to herself later, she won’t want to return, out of pride, and then she’ll be lost for good…

…Be patient for a while, overlook her behaviour, so that she’ll open up to you a bit more and then you’ll find the way to advise her tactfully… Anyway, don’t worry, God won’t abandon us and nor will the sins of young people today be judged in the same way as those of young people in our time.

Pray, as I will, and our good God will help your child and all the children in the world.
With the love of Christ.

Source: pemptousia.com

 

 

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OCN has partnered with Pemptousia. A Contemporary post-modern man does not understand what man is.  Through its presence in the internet world, Pemptousia, with its spirit of respect for beauty that characterizes it, wishes to contribute to the presentation of a better meaning of life for man, to the search for the ontological dimension of man, and to the awareness of the unfathomable mystery of man who is always in Christ in the process of becoming, of man who is in the image of divine beauty. And the beauty of man springs from the beauty of the Triune God. In the end, “beauty will save the world”.

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Pemptousia Partnership

Pemptousia and OCN have entered a strategic partnership to bring Orthodoxy Worldwide. Greek philosophers from Ionia considered held that there were four elements or essences (ousies) in nature: earth, water, fire and air. Aristotle added ether to this foursome, which would make it the fifth (pempto) essence, pemptousia, or quintessence. The incarnation of God the Word found fertile ground in man’s proclivity to beauty, to goodness, to truth and to the eternal. Orthodoxy has not functioned as some religion or sect. It was not the movement of the human spirit towards God but the revelation of the true God, Jesus Christ, to man. A basic precept of Orthodoxy is that of the person ­– the personhood of God and of man. Orthodoxy is not a religious philosophy or way of thinking but revelation and life standing on the foundations of divine experience; it is the transcendence of the created and the intimacy of the Uncreated. Orthodox theology is drawn to genuine beauty; it is the theology of the One “fairer than the sons of men”. So in "Pemptousia", we just want to declare this "fifth essence", the divine beaut in our life. Please note, not all Pemptousia articles have bylines. If the author is known, he or she is listed in the article above.