Blessed be the Lord, my rock, who trains my hands for war, and my fingers for battle.
Psalm 144:1
This is the third of five “Battleground” reflections that are part of our study. In this reflection, we will examine three questions.
What are things you are required to do that you do not love? As with any of these questions, we probably answer it differently depending on our age and stage in life. The first thing I’m required (or strongly suggested to do) to do that I definitely do not love is go to the doctor. A close second is paying taxes. For a young person, it might be going to school or listening to their parents. It might be following the law for those who are under 21 who wish they were 21, or those who want to speed to work rather than follow the posted limit. For those who are new parents, it might be getting up in the middle of the night to change a baby when you’ve done that every night for a month and just want to sleep. It may be going to that job you’ve come to dislike because that’s what pays the bills. There are lots of things we do that we do not love. Some things are necessary in order to have a good life (doctor visits and treatments). Some are necessary in order to stay out of trouble (following the law). Some are necessary in order to put food on the table (work, or going to school to prepare to work). Everyone has to do things he or she would rather not do. That’s just part of life.
Hopefully we love the benefit we get from things we do that we don’t necessarily love. I like getting told I have a clean bill of health after getting a dreaded colonoscopy. It’s worth the inconvenience to know I’m healthy. The months of no sleep are forgotten when our children get older and we beam with pride at their accomplishments, forgetting some of the hard work needed to get them to where they are. The years of school are worth it when someone is able to get a good job, and the years of work are worth it when one is able to provide a good income for his or her family. And even if the income isn’t the greatest, there is also joy in using one’s talents to do something in the world.
Who in your life is hard to love? We all have people who make this list. Sometimes it’s hard to love family, because when we spend too much time around the same people, there is bound to be disagreement. Who do I disagree with the most? The people I live with because those are the ones I’m around the most. I love the people I work with as well, but I disagree with them as well, it’s just a product of being around them so much. If we are honest, there are times when it is difficult to love a spouse, a child or a parent. Because in the moments when we disagree and there is hurt, it is hard to love. Where do we commit the most sins? With our families and with our jobs, because these are the places we have the higher number of interactions and decisions, the highest number of successes and also the highest number of failures. Sin is failure to love, and it is hard to love people when we are sinning against them.
Is it hard to love our friends? Hopefully not. However, in the moments we are gossiping about friends, we are not loving them. Remember we can’t love and sin at the same time. So, gossiping about people we love is incongruent with us loving them. It is challenging to always love family and friends. It takes work, grace, and forgiveness. It takes intentionality and purpose.
What about you is hard to love? This is a question no one really wants to address, but something we all should think about. This question is answered by looking inwardly at the points of things about ourselves which maybe aren’t so great. Are there tendencies to be disrespectful, or selfish? Do we put our needs ahead of the needs of others? Do we put on a face of service to others but behind that is really a face of service to self?
Each of us acquires a playbook throughout our lives. This “playbook” is based on our experience of life. For instance, if grew up in a house where our parents were yelling a lot, we might yell a lot, OR, we might not yell at all. We may copy what our parents did, or we may do exactly the opposite, but our opinion of yelling will be based on what we saw our parents doing. Because of varied life experiences, we will each pick different strengths and different deficiencies. There will be things about us that are very attractive and things that are very off-putting. There are things others may not like about us, and even things we might not like about ourselves. It is important that we have a sense of self-awareness, and a desire for self-improvement for the things about us that maybe aren’t so easy to love.
Lord, thank You for my life, even its challenging parts. It is through challenges that we grow. Please help me to grow through my challenges. Please help me to embrace the things I must do, even when I don’t care to do them (list some of them). Please help me to love even those who make my life more difficult (pray for them by name). Please help me to work on the things about me that are hard to love (list them). Please surround me with people who will be patient with my shortcomings. Give me the strength to be patient around others. Help me to love others and to love You in the way You have taught us to love. Amen.
Spend some time reflecting on these three questions for your own personal growth:
What are things you are required to do that you don’t love?
Who in your life is hard to love?
What about you is hard to love?
