“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to sin, pluck it out and throw it away; it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body be thrown into hell. And if you right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away; it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body go into hell.”
Matthew 5:27-30
The legal definition of adultery is having sex with someone other than your spouse once you are married. This definition is actually far too narrow. Adultery includes any sex outside of marriage, including before one is married. That sin is referred to as fornication. Many people think whatever one does before marriage is inconsequential, as long as after marriage one remains faithful. What we do before marriage sets the stage for what happens in marriage. If one is promiscuous before marriage, a habit has been formed that will be harder to break once one is married.
The easy access to pornography also has consequences for marriages. What used to require a trip to the store and concealing “dirty magazines” now can be done anonymously on a phone. Married people are falling to this sin, and it carries over into their marriage. And single people are falling to this sin, to the point that dating becomes a challenge and marriage never even gets on the table. Jesus takes the definition of adultery even further, when He says that if anyone looks at a woman with lust, he has already committed adultery with her in his heart.
Jesus then speaks in a way that sounds extreme. He endorses plucking out an eye or cutting off a hand if that is the cause of sin. It is better to go through life physically not whole than to live with things that cause us to sin.
What does this all mean for us? These verses, which seem sad and depressing, actually point us towards one word—discipline. In Greek the word discipline is the word askesis. From askesis comes the word “ascetic”, which describes the life of monastics (sometimes called ascetics) but also should describe our lives as well. No, no one is suggesting that one must live a monastic existence in order to enter the Kingdom of God. However, there is a certain amount of discipline required in order to be a faithful Christian. The Christian life is one of askesis. Orthodoxy aids in this pursuit by having certain disciplines—like fasting, structured worship (which includes long periods of standing), and an expected daily prayer time. These things call us to self-control, over our time and over our bodies.
Jesus is calling on us to live disciplined lives, that are focused on God and the ultimate destination, salvation. If something in our lives is causing us to veer away from the path to Paradise, we are to eliminate it. Jesus uses the extreme example of losing an eye or a hand. In our modern world, the examples might be things that our eyes see and things that our hands do. For the person who is an alcoholic, they must remove alcohol from their lives. Something that gives pleasure to others who are able to enjoy it properly must be removed from the one who cannot. Our brains are being rewired by our phones. We all crave our phones, and this has become the devil’s new distraction. If we ask ourselves how much time we spend in prayer and worship versus how much time we spend needlessly scrolling (not even using the phone for something important, we are talking the needless scrolling), most of us if we are honest spend more time doing things that are useless on the phone than doing the things that are useful for our souls. According to Jesus, if the phone causes you to sin, throw it away and go through life without it. Same thing with the Internet, streaming services that lead us to watching inappropriate shows, etc.
Adultery is not only not being sexually faithful to one’s spouse, but also failing to check in, failing to show up, failing to be available, forgiving, patient and all the things that are needed to have a good marriage. In some sense, every married person has probably committed adultery in some form or fashion.
Let’s introduce one more word to today’s reflection and that is the word “content.” To be content is to not be in want, not to be coveting or lusting after something one does not have. In saying that if someone looks lustfully at someone else, he has already committed adultery in his heart, one other way to interpret this is that when one is not content, then “intimacy” is not possible. Inside of a marriage, sexual intimacy and contentment are tied together. When one is content with his or her spouse, then there is desire and desire brings about sexual, as well as emotional, connection. When one is not content, it makes these things more challenging, and in some cases, the connection gets totally lost.
The idea of being content spreads well outside of marriage. One who is not content in his or her job will go looking for another one. And because we are constantly being told to buy the newest thing or keep up with the Joneses, so to speak, we are slowly losing the idea of contentment in the world, and it keeps our eyes looking in other places, whether lusting after another human being, or a material gain. Christ warns that all of these “lusts” have the potential keep us out of the Kingdom of God. He actually says it even more pointedly, to avoid being thrown into hell or having one’s whole body go into hell.
The reality of hell is also avoided in the world today. We are being conditioned to believe that there is no hell, that any attempt at some semblance of a Christian journey will land us in heaven. Christ is calling us towards a disciplined life and a life of contentment, two areas that we can all probably do much better in.
I call upon Thee, O Lord; make haste to me! Give ear to my voice, when I call to Thee! Let my prayer be counted as incense before Thee, and the lifting up of my hands as an evening sacrifice! Set a guard over my mouth, O Lord, keep watch over the door of my lips! Incline not my heart to any evil, to busy myself with wicked deeds in company with men who work iniquity; and let me not eat of their dainties! Let a good man strike or rebuke me in kindness, but let the oil of the wicked never anoint my head; for my prayer is continually against their wicked deeds. When they are given over to those who shall condemn them, then they shall learn the word of the Lord is true. As a rock which one cleaves and shatters on the land, so shall their bones be strewn at the mouth of Sheol. But my eyes are toward Thee, O Lord God; in Thee I seek refuge; leave me not defenseless! Keep me from the trap which they have laid for me, and from the snares of evildoers! Let the wicked together fall into their own nets, while I escape. Psalm 141
Points to ponder: Where are you lacking discipline in your life? How content are you with what you have and how much do you “lust” for the things you don’t have?
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