An excerpt from “FROM CHAOS TO CHRIST: Out of Noise, into Truth” by Fr. Christopher Metropulos.
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Jesus provides a parable that models godly parenting in a difficult situation. The son in this parable did not face a physical disability as a challenge to his family; he faced a spiritual one. A certain man had two sons. And the younger of them said to his father, “Father, give me the portion of goods that falls to me.” So, he divided them into his livelihood. Not many days after, the younger son gathered all together, journeyed to a far country, and there wasted his possessions with prodigal living (Lk 15:11–13).
Those are the first verses of the famous parable known as The Prodigal Son. By asking for his inheritance in this way, the son brought great insult to the father and caused deep embarrassment to the family. It was as if he were saying to his father, “I wish you were already dead.” He was rejecting his father, his family, and their way of life. Yet, the father of this adult child allowed him the freedom to leave. He permitted him to reject the life that his father knew was best for him. What a painful moment it must have been for the father as he watched his son depart, filled with pride and worldly dreams. Leaving in such a way would make them feel dead to one another. I imagine the father had a sense of how it would go for his rebellious son, and he must have grieved deeply.
How did he know? It must have been all those years at home, years in which his father showed himself to be loving and approachable.
Later in the story, we find the father watching the road. And sure enough, when things turned ugly for the son when he had lost everything and was left destitute, his thoughts returned to his father and his home. But when he had spent all, there arose a severe famine in that land, and he began to be in want. Then he went and joined himself to a citizen of that country, and he sent him into his fields to feed swine. And he would gladly have filled his stomach with the pods that the swine ate, and no one gave him anything. But when he came to himself, he said, “How many of my father’s hired servants have bread enough and to spare, and I perish with hunger! I will arise and go to my father and will say to him, “Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you, and I am no longer worthy to be called your son. Make me like one of your hired servants” (Lk 15:14–19). Even though he had rejected his father and his father’s way of life, the son knew he could still return. Though he had, in effect, wished his father dead and humiliated the family, he knew he could go back.
How did he know? It must have been all those years at home, years in which his father showed himself to be loving and approachable. The image he carried of his father was strong enough to pull him back, even in such a desperate moment. He plans to return and ask for forgiveness, hoping to be received, not as a son, but as a servant in the very house he once rejected. But what a surprise awaited him.
And he arose and came to his father. But when he was still a great way off, his father saw him and had compassion and ran and fell on his neck and kissed him. And the son said to him, “Father, I have sinned against heaven and in your sight and am no longer worthy to be called your son.”
But the father said to his servants,
“Bring out the best robe and put it on him and put a ring on his hand and sandals on his feet. And bring the fatted calf here and kill it, and let us eat and be merry; for this, my son was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.” And they began to be merry (Lk 15:20–24).
The father was waiting for him! Moved with compassion, he hitched up his cloak and ran to meet the ragged vagabond. I can only imagine what the servants and the rest of the household thought of such a bold, uninhibited welcome, but the father didn’t care. He had been waiting, and now his arms were open wide. He declared that the one who was dead is alive again. Though the son had taken from him and wasted what was given, the father offered him the very best of what he had.
We may or may not face such deep problems in our parenting, but we can still learn from the Father’s example in this parable, especially in His willingness to forgive. Just as there is no way to function appropriately in a marriage without forgiveness, there is no way to survive as a family without it. Like the loving Father in the parable, you will face challenging times. When your children are young, you must strive to establish the habits of godly living in your home. You are the leader and the authority, and this means setting boundaries and consequences. In all of this, you must also strive to exemplify holy living in your behavior. But most of all, you must be willing to model the gospel for them, a life that involves sacrifice, repentance, and forgiveness.
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