“Ask, and it will be given you; seek, and you will find; knock and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened. Or what man of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a serpent? If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask Him! So whatever you wish that men would do to you, do so to them; for this is the law and the prophets.”
Matthew 7:7-12
This is going to be one of the hardest messages to write on. Because in both ministry and personal life, there are prayers and requests to God that go unanswered. People do exactly what Jesus tells us to do in Matthew 7:7—they ask, seek and knock—and yet do not get the results that Jesus says they will get—they are not given, they do not find, the doors are not opened. This has happened to me. I’m sure it has happened to everyone.
There are requests made to us that are unreasonable. When our son was very young, he wanted to eat French fries every day. That request was reasonable to him. But it was not a reasonable request, and so on most days, we told him no. To give into that request daily would have made him an unhealthy child and would have made us irresponsible parents. So even though he thought his request was reasonable, he didn’t always get the answer he wanted. Sometimes people request things from us that we cannot grant—either because we are unable, or simply because it is not the right thing to do.
There are times we make requests from God that put us in direct competition with someone else. For example, we are interviewing for a job along with many other people. We ask God to help us get the job. Perhaps the other interviewees are asking God the same thing. Only one person is going to get the job. For us to get the job, someone else has to fail. It would seem that this request, especially if made by multiple people, forces God into a position to choose. In the case of a job, for us to get the job means that someone else will not. So, it makes sense that we don’t get every request we make, even though this verse seems to indicate that we will.
However, what about the case where we make a request where no one else is affected? Where there doesn’t have to be a loser in order for us to be a winner, such as it is in the aforementioned instance with the job interview? What happens when we pray for our marriage to get better, and it doesn’t? Or we pray for healing and it doesn’t happen? Okay, healing isn’t going to necessarily happen for someone who is very elderly, we are all going to die at some point. But what about a young person who is sick? I have several around me right now in my ministry. I know several young and very faithful clergymen who are sick. Two of them have passed away in the last two months. Lots of people prayed for them. Lots of people asked, lots of people were seeking, lots of people knocked.
Jesus says in Matthew 7:8, “For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks the door will be opened.” This seems like a false promise. We know that prayer is not a vending machine. We don’t just insert prayer and get an answer exactly or immediately. We know that. We know that not everything we ask for is appropriate to receive—i.e. French fries every day. We believe that God knows what is best, that’s what faith is. So, why doesn’t God want a young person who is sick to recover?
Jesus gives two more examples in Matthew 7:9-10 that God won’t do the opposite of what is asked. He uses these examples: “Or what man of you, if his son asks him for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a serpent?” He then contrasts this to the goodness, benevolence and generosity of God in Matthew 7:11: “If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask Him!” I understand, as we should understand, that not all things we ask for are good. Some are frivolous. I know people who ask God to bless lottery tickets. To me, that is frivolous. Some things we ask for are not good; God even knows that they are not good. Sometimes I believe that God doesn’t answer a prayer because He is trying to help us avoid something bad. I’m sure you’ve had instances in your life, as I have had in mine, when I can look back and say, “Thank you God that that DIDN’T work out!” I have had instances, as you undoubtedly have had, where something I prayed for didn’t happen in the way I had hoped, but worked out later, in a good way. I had some childhood medical challenges which I didn’t understand at the time, which I prayed for God to take away and He didn’t, but I can look back and know that these experiences have helped me develop empathy, especially for teenagers, and have made me a better pastor and priest. Some unanswered prayers are explained away like this.
However, I’m still stuck with the unanswered prayers that won’t be resolved—praying for a young person to get better and they don’t. Praying for a faithful priest to be able to continue his ministry and he passes away. I’ve read many commentaries on today’s verses, and they all come back with the same theme of God knows what is best, even when we don’t. And I’m still scratching my head, wondering, how could some of these tragic outcomes be for the best?
I do believe that God does answer many prayers. Sometimes He answers immediately and just as we have asked. Sometimes He answers them but later. And sometimes He answers them but differently, and much later. I also have come to understand and accept that prayer is not like a vending machine. Ultimately, prayer is being in the presence of God and speaking to God. As we have already discussed, the ultimate prayer is “Thy will be done” which asks for nothing personal, it leaves the outcome, whatever that outcome may be, in the hands of God.
I wrote at the outset that these verses are among the hardest to write one, precisely because there are so many good and humble prayers that go unanswered, and it is very difficult to be told to ask and it will be given, and then we ask and it isn’t. Which leads back to faith—which is continuing on even when there are unanswered prayers, and things we ask which we aren’t granted. There are lots of unanswered questions and prayers swirling around me today, but I will show up, whether my faith is strong or not is something for God to evaluate, but I will show up in some fashion today, and I pray you will as well.
Praise the Lord! For it is good to sing praises to our God; for He is gracious, and a song of praise is seemly. The Lord builds up Jerusalem; He gathers the outcasts of Israel. He heals the brokenhearted, and binds up their wounds. He determines the number of the stars, He gives to all of them their names. Great is our Lord, and abundant in power; His understanding is beyond measure. The Lord lifts up the downtrodden, He casts the wicked to the ground. Sing to the Lord with thanksgiving; make melody to our God upon the lyre! He covers the heavens with clouds, He prepares rain for the earth, He makes grass grow upon the hills. He gives to the beasts their food, and to the young ravens which cry. His delight is not the strength of the horse, nor His pleasure in the legs of a man; but the Lord takes pleasure in those who fear Him, in those who hope in His steadfast love. Praise the Lord, O Jerusalem! Praise your God, O Zion! For He strengthens the bars of your gates; He blesses your sons within you. He makes peace in your borders; He fills you with the finest of the wheat. He sends forth His command to the earth; His word runs swiftly. He gives snow like wool; He scatters hoarfrost like ashes. He casts forth His ice like morsels; who can stand before His cold? He sends forth His word, and melts them; He makes His wind blow, and the waters flow. He declares His word to Jacob, His statutes and ordinances to Israel. He has not dealt thus with any other nation; they do not know His ordinances. Praise the Lord! Psalm 147
Point to ponder: How is your faith affected by unanswered prayers?
